If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
