First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
