It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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