You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
