your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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