you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
