if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
