Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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