you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
