Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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