i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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