I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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