Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
