Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
