i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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