I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
