He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
