Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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