Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Randomize
