He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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