you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
