1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
