Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
