One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
