What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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