You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
