you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
