I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
