I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
