My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
