porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize