Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
