This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize