You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
