Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
