I wish I only lived at night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
