I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
wow bdsm is so cute
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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