i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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