Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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