i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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