Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize