It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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