If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
