Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
