Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize