I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He has the fingertips of a God
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
