i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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