Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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