nut hugger
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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