Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
