break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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