Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
