My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
