Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Drunk is a universal language darling
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
