Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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