Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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