Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
